October: Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month
The loss of a baby—whether through miscarriage, stillbirth, or abortion—is extremely common. Nearly all women either know someone who has experienced such a loss or have gone through it themselves. The emotional consequences of losing a child remain vastly understudied. This gap is amplified by the taboo surrounding any discussion of negative consequences of abortion, with providers often asserting that abortion has no lasting impact on a woman's well-being, which is simply untrue. Numerous studies show that the loss of a child, regardless of the circumstances, has lasting emotional and physiological effects on women.
October, designated as Infant and Pregnancy Loss Awareness Month by President Reagan in 1988, serves to acknowledge this issue. Even then—before the annual number of abortions reached 73 million—Reagan recognized the “bereavement, guilt, and emotional and physical trauma that accompany post-abortion syndrome” as a significant challenge. He called Americans to action, stating, “We can and must do a much better job of encouraging adoption as an alternative to abortion,” and urging people to support single parents, offer temporary and emotional support, and assist women who place their babies up for adoption. Much has changed in America since October was first dedicated to Pregnancy Loss Awareness, but the number of women experiencing such loss has greatly increased, making it more crucial than ever to support those impacted by abortion.
Research on the maternal brain following child loss reveals striking insights. A 2021 study found that the brain's oxytocin (happiness) and corticotropin (stress) systems influence a mother’s response to losing her child. After a child’s loss, reductions in oxytocin and increases in corticotropin can contribute to anxiety and depression. Even women who experience early pregnancy loss (within the first 12 weeks) may show clinically significant symptoms of anxiety and depression up to nine months later. The study concluded that more research is needed to understand the physiological impact of child loss on mothers and to guide professionals in providing effective support.
A 2008 paper further explored the mental health consequences of child loss on parents. The authors argue that mental health professionals often underestimate both the short-term and long-term effects of such loss. Notably, the paper highlights a systematic review that found no evidence of psychological support effectively addressing the negative mental health outcomes for women who have had an abortion. This is a significant finding and should be shared with women so they can make informed decisions, knowing that abortion may have lasting and potentially irreversible consequences on their mental health.
While abortion is a voluntary act, it is still technically the loss of a child. Deliberate or not, the physical and psychological consequences of losing a child can persist. Raising awareness and supporting women in their struggles following child loss is essential—not only to aid their healing but also to inform women considering abortion that there may be better options for both them and their baby, options that avoid the devastation of one and the loss of the other.
Bigger Than Abortion: Maternity Care Deserts in the US
A recent study by the non-profit organization March of Dimes highlights the difficulty for many women to receive adequate maternity care, both before and after birth. It highlights the brutal reality that over 35% of counties in America are maternity ‘deserts’ meaning there is no access to a birthing facility or obstetric clinician. Maternal care is extremely important for healthy mothers and babies, and access to this care in our country is already difficult, and rapidly declining. It is extremely important that this issue is resolved and better maternity care is provided for mothers and babies, so that pregnancy and birth can be safe in all areas, and so no one feels they need an abortion because motherhood is unsafe.
Adequate maternity care is extremely important for a woman's health before, during and after pregnancy. States where maternity care is the lowest, and there are relatively high amounts of ‘maternity desert’ counties also experience the highest rates for infant mortality. In the state of Georgia, where 42% of counties are maternity deserts, as opposed to a 35% national average, infant and maternity death rates are also higher. The state has the 9th highest infant mortality rate in the country, where about 7 babies die every 1,000 births. There is a clear link between high death rates and low access to maternal health care.
Maternity deserts are a reality in America. 35% of counties in the US qualify as these ‘deserts’ leaving almost 2.3 million women of child bearing age having to travel long distances to get the care they need (if they are able to travel at all). For many of these women, having to give birth in their car on their way to a birth facility or hospital is a reality they must face. The report made by March of the Dimes states further that “access to quality maternity care centers continues to decline, particularly in rural and underserved communities, marking a continued deterioration in maternal and infant care across the US.” The American health system is clearly failing mothers and babies.
At the end of the day, the rapid decline of maternity care in America seems to be about money. An article by the Atlanta Journal Constitution states that “Obstetric services aren’t as profitable as other health services hospitals provide”. We wonder if one of these services is abortion, a deadly product sold to 2,548 American women daily. In the majority of cases, abortion destroys a human life instead of saving it, like quality maternity care would, in a way which is so desperately needed in so many areas of America.
The statistics surrounding maternity deserts are about more than just health care for pregnancy, rather they are about adequate health care for all women. Pregnant women should not be punished, and possibly forced to consider an abortion for lack of better options. For many people, pregnancy is a natural part of womanhood, which should be cherished and supported. If America wants to better support women, the best place to start is maternal health care.
Building Bridges
In Recall Abortion, author and pro-life activist Janet Morana makes pointed and consistent arguments on how abortion hurts women. In her argument for recalling abortion she doesn’t rely on an array of statistics or biological facts about when life begins. Morana’s most powerful tool is the voices of women. All of whom exercised their choice to abort and ultimately felt victimized by the system that claimed to empower them. She also lifts up the voices of suffragettes whose wisdoms we’ve seemingly forgotten, “I suppose that means we women have our independence, but we have lost our way.”
“Sweeter even than to have had the joy of children of my own has it been for me to help bring about a better state of things for mothers generally, so that their unborn little ones could not be willed away from them.” - Susan B. Anthony
“When we consider that women are treated as property, it is degrading to women that we should treat our children as property to be disposed of as we see fit.” - Elizabeth Cady Stanton
In the conservative pro-life movement we tend to overlook our pro-choice feminist sisters as resources, maybe in fear we’ll be shamed for our “backwards, old-timey, handmaids tale” type opinions. In reality these are smart, self-sufficient, brilliantly modern women who are absorbing the same cultural ailments we are. Many of whom have or will experience abortion firsthand, 1/3 to be exact. And from the looks of it, they’re just a perplexed as we are!
I want to take this opportunity to highlight a few pieces I’ve enjoyed reading over the last few months - one from Vogue, one from Literary Hub, and one from Glamour. All written by women who are grappling with how truly difficult it is to fit the complexities of modern day motherhood into the tiny tube we call fourth wave feminism.
Why Don’t We Talk About the Joys of Motherhood Anymore? by Faye Keegan
For some reason, despite how much pro-abortion media I consume, Faye’s observations on how bad the problem is still struck me. Likely because I’m pro-life and this work takes up a good chunk of brain space, I encounter anti-natalist content as the offended party. My immediate response is to huff and puff. “Can you BELIEVE this,” I’ll screech as I shove my phone in my boyfriends face, “we’re SCREWED!” Then I’ll take it to the other side of the aisle, allowing fellow pro-lifers to justify my anger. However, there are less suspecting women than me consuming the same media on a day-to-day basis who might not realize just how impacted by this we are until someone like Faye pauses for a moment to ask, ‘Where are all the happy moms?’
“But if I thought that minimizing references to the joy and profundity of motherhood was a kindness, I now see that, in focusing solely on its difficulties, I have inadvertently done an unkindness to women.”
Faye draws a beautifully nuanced observation here on how strangely difficult it is as a culture to acknowledge the incredible hardships that come with motherhood and the perfectly acceptable reasons women choose to forego it, without isolating the many of us who pursue it. And vice versa, how do women pursuing motherhood accept that there are a number of us who see it as devoid of the joys we imagine and experience?
What If Motherhood Was Considered as Ambitious as ‘Real’ Work? by Elissa Strauss
am·bi·tion (noun): “a strong desire to do or to achieve something, typically requiring determination and hard work."
Using this definition from Oxford, let’s take a deeper look at motherhood and all that it entails.
An indisputable amount of reputable and peer reviewed sources argue that most of us have an innate biological desire to reproduce and become mothers; to grow, nurture, and support the next generation. I can speak from personal experience as well as that of many girlfriends that this desire only becomes more insatiable the further one gets into her childbearing years. So what of the woman who deems motherhood the object of all her desires and her crowning achievement? We might celebrate her choice, but do we celebrate her ambition? Furthermore, we’re well aware of the determination and hard work that goes into pregnancy, birth, and mothering one to multiple children for 18+ years (or at least that’s what our Mothers Day cards say), so why is it that the picture of ambition in our culture remains men in suits and women in… mens suits?
“‘Glass doors’” are the reason I failed to see the political and economic value of my efforts raising my kids, and therefore hesitated before calling motherhood ambitious.”
I love the picture Elissa paints of our current fourth wave “Lean In” feminism and how it may be justified in basic feminist principles, but perhaps it’s come at the expense of whatever ambitions we might have outside the workplace, especially that of our maternal instincts. She points out that “asking a woman if she’s ambitious almost feels like a trick question.”
I would imagine the author and I have some disagreements on issues like reproductive rights, but I’d much rather focus on what we have in common. Thank you Elissa for writing such a thought provoking and comforting piece.
Necessary Yet Invisible: On the Unpaid Labor of Motherhood and Writing by Claire Kilroy
In this essay, Irish author Claire Kilroy wrestles with the above topic in the same tone of voice as my very own Irish mother would: honest, matter of fact, yet somehow warm and profoundly wise (without trying to sound wise).
“Motherhood is a reckoning with mortality, profundity, extremity, nobility—you will find resources you never knew you possessed. Every night will be a long dark night of the soul. It will be funny, it will be sad, it will at times be frankly mental. This is the real world, in here. It is also the place of art.”
This quote is so powerful to me because there’s no agenda here. This quote isn’t trying to sell me on motherhood nor is it compelling me to “Lean In” to my career and ignore my maternal desires.
I wonder how our movements might change if we put our pro-life or pro-choice agendas on the back burner in order to connect as women first and foremost. What do I have as a pro-lifer in common with a pro-choicer? Well, most likely it’s that I consider myself pro-woman, as does she. Why don’t we start there?
THE ABORTION PILL: What Do We Actually Know and Why Should we be Concerned?
The abortion pill accounted for 53% of abortions in the US in 2020. However, the current movement in the abortion industry to move away from surgical to chemical abortions is puzzling. Self-administered chemical abortions, such as the abortion pill, remove the women from professional environments such as hospitals, in which they are more likely to receive proper care, and life saving attention if necessary. Chemical abortions, which women often perform alone in their homes, seem more similar to dangerous ‘backstreet’ abortions that the abortion industry was apparently desperate to get away from. These chemical abortions that isolate women must be explored and defended by the abortion industry before they are labeled as ‘safe’.
Who invented the abortion pill?
The history of the abortion pill is grim. In a full report about the pill, LiveAction states that Dr Etienne-Emilie Baulieu, who was looking for an abortifacient and first developed the abortion pill, advocated RU-486 (the original name of the progesterone blocker) to be “contragestive,” and a once- a-month pill to replace birth control. Baulie said women in the “Third World” would be the “main target.” But eventually, “it could be used protectively in developed nations, like a monthly contraceptive pill.” Ron Weddington, who served as a co-counsel in Roe v. Wade, revealed that he had been discussing setting up a non-profit organization to license and distribute the abortion pill, saying “26 million food stamp recipients is more than the economy can stand.” Weddington then joked about sending “dart guns [of birth control] to the ghetto.” The origins of the abortion pill, and its purpose of targeting poorer women and reducing the population do not corroborate well with the line that it empowers women.
What is the abortion pill?
The abortion pill is often distributed over the counter or through the mail, or after an in office consultation with a doctor. This is marketed by the pro-abortion industry as more convenient and comfortable for women, however it is somewhat disturbing that a woman can perform an abortion without medical attention or advice, and immediate access to medical care if something goes wrong. The abortion pill is distinct from the morning after pill, and usually a two step process. The first pill blocks the hormone progesterone from going to the baby, effectively starving it, and the second pill, taken 6-48 hours later, induces contractions which expel the baby from the women’s body.
What are the effects of the abortion pill?
Hemorrhaging is not uncommon, with 16% of women from a study in Finland experiencing serious hemorrhaging, and 7% from the same study experiencing an incomplete abortion. Even if the abortion proceeds as expected, the results are far from pleasant. Most women experience abdominal pain, bleed for 9-16 days, and still need to deliver the remains of their small baby. 8% of women bleed for more than 30 days, and 1% require medical intervention. Since 2000, there have been 28 reported deaths caused by the abortion pill.
Personal experiences
Many women regret their use of the abortion pill, and suffer trauma from this experience. LiveAction released a series of videos sharing individual women’s experiences with the abortion pill. One woman, Natalia, shares that “When it first started happening, it felt like being stabbed in the stomach. And I looked down and saw him. It was (like) a baby.” Other women report amounts of bleeding “like a horror movie”.
These are all cases of women choosing to use the abortion pill. How much more horrifying and dangerous then, are the cases in which women have been unknowingly poisoned by the pill. There are many cases, and probably many more unreported ones, of boyfriends sneaking abortion pills in their pregnant girlfriends drink, or telling them they are iron pills or other supplements. This is the kind of abuse and exploitation that the abortion pill enables.
Like any other medication with dangerous and life-threatening results, access to the abortion pill should be seriously reconsidered by medical professionals in our country. It serves to isolate women, and have them go through the traumatic experience of abortion often alone and unprepared. The abortion pill’s side effects are often not fully disclosed, and it can be used against women to terminate their pregnancies against their will. This is not a pro-women pill.
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Sources:
https://www.liveaction.org/post-abortive-women-share-traumatic-abortion-pill-stories
https://www.cbsnews.com/boston/news/abortion-pill-misoprostol-boyfriend-arrested-pregnant-girlfriend/#textWATERTOWN202D20A20Massachusetts20man20hasordered20held20on20241002C00020bail
A Word from Cherilyn Holloway (Pro-Black Pro-Life)
A problem solver by nature, I see both the pro-life community’s focus on changing abortion laws and the pro-choice community’s focus on expanding abortion as “downriver solutions.” Desmond Tutu famously said, “There comes a point where we need to stop just pulling people out of the river. We need to go upstream and find out why they’re falling in.” As I sought to determine why people are falling in, why women are seeking abortions, I realized housing inequalities, unequal access to education and jobs, implicit bias in the health care system, limited options for childcare, abysmal parental leave, and more create the current that bring women downstream to abortion clinics or crisis pregnancy centers.
Both sides acknowledge that Black women have abortions at higher rates than white women. Black women have 38% of abortions in the US though make up only 12.4% of the female population while white women have more of the abortions in the US though they make up 60% of the female population.
And both sides agree that lower income women have abortions at the highest rates. A staggering 75% of abortions patients in 2014 were women at or below the poverty line though only ??% of the female population lives at or below the poverty line.
The elephant in the room for the pro-life community is that economics, not laws, are the clear issue driving abortions in our country. Statistics suggest that of single Black women making a salary of at least $40,000, 70% chose to keep their baby when facing an unplanned pregnancy. I see this as proof that Black women who feel economically stable are more likely to make the choice not to abort.
While Democrats promote policies that would help a woman considering an abortion choice because of economic reasons (child tax credits, paid leave, and expanding food assistance, etc.), in reality these (like abortion) are just temporary solutions to a bigger problem. And their Republican counterparts seem offended at the idea of providing these safety nets and supports claiming it will only make the lower-income population more dependent on the government (remember the famous Welfare Queen?). Lacking even these basic supports, Democrats double down on the necessity of abortion access. But this is a downriver, band-aid solution.
The answer to economic stability for the Black community, a stability that might make abortion in our country unnecessary, is neither in the Build Back Better Bill, in abortion rights and access, nor in abortion laws because all of these provide a very temporary, short-lasting solution. True and lasting economic stability lies in digging up system roots that have been thriving and bearing fruit for far too long.
The “economic elephant in the room” for the pro-choice community is that child tax credits, pre-k programs, paid family leave, as well as free diapers, wipes, formula, and parenting classes, do nothing to address the systemic issues the Black community faces. The Fair Housing Act (1968, amended in 1988) is a case in point. Though nearly 45 years have passed, the effects of redlining (that the federal government supported) are still in effects to this day. Those rotten fruit of the lingering racist roots continue to have a domino effect on education, health disparities, limited access to high-paying jobs.
Let’s be real, the pro-life community must wrestle with why marginalized Black women are choosing abortion at higher rates than any other population. If abortion rates dwindle as economic stability grows, why aren’t we in the pro-life community pursuing the economic stability of the mama as the best path toward protecting the life of her baby? And to those in the pro-choice community, if women are clearly more likely to choose an option other than abortion when they have the economic support they need, why the relentless focus on expanding access to abortion?
What if we focused on strategically dismantling the systems that created these disparities and build those back better? Dare we use the word reparations? We are woefully behind in creating new systems, dismantling old ones, and designing lasting policies and community resources that not only support, but build up the Black community.
I do not relate more to the right nor the left wing of politics. I consider myself a whole bird who is determined to fly her community into the direction of life-affirming prosperity. It’s time to cool the rhetoric, to drop the tired talking points, and to stop demonizing the other side. A focus on the economic issues that drive abortion rates can be our common ground. Let’s travel up the river and address why people are falling in.
“The Power of Encouragement” - Loren Ward
An overlooked tool among pro-lifers: the power of encouragement
When we think about being an advocate for the pro-life movement, we often think of colossal, big-picture endeavors to support women when they face unplanned pregnancies. This includes volunteering at pregnancy care centers, starting a local mobile pregnancy clinic, marching, praying in front of Planned Parenthood, giving or donating to pro-life charities, financially supporting an expectant mom, starting your own pro-life organization, etc.
These are amazing ventures to take part in, but being a pro-life advocate can start with simply a word of encouragement to a young mom or dad who is scared and unsure how a baby will affect their future.
Before I started my pro-life ministry last year, I had big ideas of how I could support the pro-life movement. I had been following Live Action and Students for Life for a few years and was inspired by the work they have been doing. I had big dreams and big plans of what I could do to invest in the pro-life movement. But God wanted me to start small, which was quite humbling, to be honest.
I thought about my experience facing an unplanned pregnancy during my last semester in college. I was 22 years old, unmarried, and being a mom wasn’t on my list of post-graduation plans. I was absolutely terrified and considered abortion. But thankfully, I was surrounded by people who gave me the encouragement I needed to choose life and persevere. My then-boyfriend (now husband) uplifted me every day with words of encouragement, often reminding me how great of a mom I would be. When my now mother-in-law found out about the pregnancy, she hugged me with tears of joy and told me I would be a great mom. My friends cheered me on. I held on to their words, which acted as a beacon of light and hope during a tumultuous season in my life.
Reflecting on that experience, I realized I wanted to share that same encouragement I received to other people who are facing similar circumstances. God wanted me to start small, so I did. I started a storytelling project called Unplanned: Stories of Resilience in April 2023, and my goal was simple: to share the stories of those who have faced unplanned pregnancies. I wanted their stories to be an encouragement to the young mom or dad who’s dealing with an unplanned pregnancy. In the span of a few months, that storytelling project blossomed into a pro-life storytelling ministry with the mission of “encouraging men and women to choose life, one pro-life story at a time.”
Yes, I started a ministry, but its mission is simple. It's grounded in the power of encouragement. I could have built my ministry as a nonprofit that financially supports expectant moms or provides housing for them, but I knew how powerful encouragement can be in touching people’s hearts and changing their minds.
I have seen the fruit of my ministry’s mission in the past few months. A 19-year-old mom of a toddler reached out in January 2024 after reading one of the stories published in my ministry. She had just found out she was pregnant, and she shared her story with me over Instagram. I took my time to encourage her, and it was what she needed to have hope, despite the challenging obstacles in front of her.
We have stayed in touch since then, and I have been able to rally several women across the U.S. to write uplifting letters to this young mom. She got kicked out of her home because she wouldn’t get an abortion. The letters she received gave her so much encouragement, knowing there were other women who could empathize with her and know what it’s like to choose life during a crisis pregnancy.
This young mom chose life for her daughter, who is due in September. Because of the power of encouragement, she is able to persevere and keep moving forward, not giving up on herself.
To the reader who has big plans to support the pro-life movement, start small: encourage the young mom or dad who is facing an unplanned pregnancy. You never know how your words will impact the decision they make. Your words can save a life.
Loren Ward is a wife, mom and storyteller based in Arizona. She is the founder of Unplanned: Stories of Resilience, a pro-life storytelling ministry, after she faced an unplanned pregnancy during her last semester in college. You can follow her ministry on Instagram @unplanned_prolifestories.
Black Maternal Health Week 4/11-4/17
This month the pro-life spotlight was on Black Maternal Health week, spanning from April 11th to the 17th. According to the Center for Disease Control and Prevention, black women are three times more likely to die from a pregnancy related cause than white women. Black Maternal Health Week is an opportunity to highlight this issue and encourages communities to take steps to make sure black mothers are safe, supported, and empowered.
Many black women report not feeling safe or heard at hospitals and throughout their birth experience. At a Black Maternal Health Equity Summit in Cleveland, mothers said that the main issue they face is not being ignored when something in the pregnancy doesn’t feel right. Hospital workers providing care for these mothers also notice that sometimes the care they receive is substandard compared to white mothers.
Experience upon experience corroborates this account. Even the world renown tennis champion, Serena Williams, reports that in 2018 she wasn’t taken seriously by medical staff while she was experiencing a pulmonary embolism. Although many mothers across the board might struggle with not feeling heard in medical settings, statistics show that black mothers are particularly at risk from maternal complications, including death.
Over this week and month, in cities including Atlanta, Cleveland and Fresno there were conferences and community awareness events held to highlight this issue, and continue the conversation for providing solutions and support for black mothers. Medical professionals, researchers and doulas are all also working to better black maternal health.
Solutions to the high maternal mortality rate center around connecting black women to support in their communities, including medical professionals. In this way, women feel heard and can get immediate help with any issues or complications they experience. This includes access to doulas, who work as a support and advocate for the mother in a birth setting. This can be important for black patients to ensure they are being heard and their concerns are being taken seriously. Events over the course of the week helped connect black mothers to support systems in their communities, enabling them to be empowered and better prepared to tackle birth and motherhood.
Despite abortion being advocated as “essential health care” for women, maternal mortality rates are not going down, but actually increasing! Despite abortion being (until recently) available and federally protected, risks for pregnant women, especially those in marginalized communities, remains prevalent. Abortion is thus clearly not the solution for proper maternal health care, in fact some could argue that abortion serves as a bandaid for issues that demand much more attention in order to ensure all Americans are receiving proper care.
Black Maternal Health Week is a positive initiative to support black mothers and babies everywhere, and another step on the journey to a happier and healthy country.
Meet a New Mom’s Best Friend: The Stork Advisor App
To meet the needs of pregnant women, and help support them throughout their pregnancy and birth, Stanley Yeatts (MD) and his team founded the Stork Advisor ® app. This app is an innovative digital platform which supports women through information and connective resources before, during, and after pregnancy.
Stork Advisor was founded in response to growing maternal healthcare concerns in the United States. About half of pregnant women report that they don’t feel comfortable asking questions to their healthcare providers during pregnancy, with the US having the worst record of this discomfort compared to other developed nations. Racial and economic disparities are also at play, with women of color and women with fewer economic resources more likely to suffer from serious complications during their pregnancy, presumably due to a lack of comprehensive care. This is compounded by the fact that one third of the US is considered a ‘maternal healthcare desert’, due to the lack of pregnancy specific care centers in the areas. Women are often left feeling isolated and alone during pregnancy, made worse by the growing epidemic of social media, which results in greater risks of mental health problems. Due to these concerns, there was a clear need for a platform to support women during their pregnancy, and arm them with information regarding health and wellness.
The Stork Advisor app was made to inform, support and connect women. With the app, or by visiting the Stork Advisor website, a variety of invaluable information regarding pregnancy and birth from experienced medical professionals is available. These resources span from health and wellness practices before and during pregnancy, to birth and then the postpartum period, including potential warning signs after giving birth. Specific examples include videos of prenatal yoga from a certified yoga instructor, product reviews of all-things-baby from other mothers, options of pain medication for labor, an ovulation calculator - the list continues. The wealth of information offered to women trying to get pregnant, looking for information about birth or even just wanting to find a good stroller is incredible.
A few of the app’s features in particular make it an ideal first step for women struggling with a lack of information or a lack of connection with others. The app is completely and totally free, for all users, with absolutely zero limitations, making it accessible regardless of a woman's economic resources. The app also offers a platform for users to share and rate their birth experiences at different hospitals, which can help women decide which hospital is best for them. The ‘Stork Alert’ feature also enables parents to quickly and easily alert their close friends and family that the baby is on the way. The year after the baby is born is also a very important time in both the mother and baby’s life, so the app also has parenting posts from current moms and a self-care section to encourage well-being. These features contribute to the app being a positive addition to a soon to be mom’s resources, promoting information and connection.
The Stork Advisor app is an incredible innovation to make women capable and confident before, during and after pregnancy. Apps and resources like this frame pregnancy in such a natural, positive and do-able way by providing practical support for women are one step towards a nation that values life from its very beginning!
“If Society Denies the Mother’s Loss, Her Body Does Not”
Society tells us that having an abortion will elicit no negative consequences on our conscience or our bodies. Is this the truth, or a lie foisted on vulnerable women by pro-choicers trying to sell a product? Examining the natural consequences of abortion on women’s bodies and minds will help us to see the real cost of abortion on women.
The NHS claims that “abortion is generally very safe and most women will not experience any problems”. The American Psychological Association claims that abortion is not linked to mental health problems, but rather restricting access to abortion has problematic impacts on women. This idea has permeated into our culture. It is now a common belief that having an abortion is empowering, and will leave women unaffected, without any future psychological, spiritual or physical side effects.
However, the idea of abortion not affecting women in a negative manner is not proved by all psychological data. The National Library of Medicine claims that
Smoking, drug abuse, eating disorder, depression, attempted suicide, guilt, regret, nightmare, decreased self-esteem, and worry about not being able to conceive again were the questions asked from the respondents as the psychological consequences of abortion… At least one-third of the respondents have experienced one of the above mentioned psychological side effects.
It seems to be clear, that at least for some women, abortion entails an array of heart wrenching consequences. Furthermore, each abortion a woman gets seems to compound her risk of negative psychological effects. The Lozier Institute claims that "..each exposure to abortion increases the risk of mental disorders (in women) by 23 percent.”. If any other medical procedure had these kinds of side effects, which are serious and detrimental to a woman's mental health, would we really be recommended and championed so strongly? At the very least we would make the risks and possible consequences explicit to them so they can make a conscious decision about what is best for them. However, even informed consent is denied to women, as abortion providers tell them they will feel no guilt or have no lasting negative consequences.
We cannot deny the truth of what abortion does to women. Even a woman's body often feels the consequences of her an abortion. Said profoundly by pro-life activist Sister Paula Vandegaar, "if society denies the mother's loss, her body does not… This is the basis of post-abortion trauma: the denial of the baby and the denial of our feelings.”. The physical risks of abortion, including horrible abdominal pain, hemorrhaging, and even death, speak to the trauma every woman undergoes during an abortion. Our bodies cannot lie - something has been destroyed and taken away. Women who have undergone abortions have a right to feel traumatized, and simply denying their feelings for them, as so many pro-choice activists try to do, will not allow them to heal their bodies or their minds.
Abortion has consequences on women. These consequences are serious enough that they must be fully explored and investigated, so that no woman unwillingly becomes the victim of lifelong psychological or physical trauma.
Sources:
https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/abortion/risks/
https://www.apa.org/monitor/2022/09/news-facts-abortion-mental-health
Psychological Consequences of Abortion among the Post Abortion Care Seeking Women in Tehran
https://lozierinstitute.org/fact-sheet-abortion-and-mental-health/
Their Life Matters
Mother Teresa, an nun who is infamous for her work with the poor and dying in the slums of India, was once asked why the U.S. had not yet had a female president. She promptly replied “because she was probably aborted.”
How many people impact our lives every day? The number is countless. Our closest friend, our parents, our partner, even the barista that makes our daily coffee all make a notable difference in our lives, and in constituting our happiness.
Humans are social animals. We are meant to work together and help each other, and in this day and age, the advancements of technology, science, and medicine are available on an incredible scope, for each person to take advantage of. Never before has the world been so small, and individual progress so available to helping the lives of others. But what about those individuals who have not been able to live, flourish, and help our world? What about the victims of abortion?
Every day, 2,363 abortions happen in America. That’s over 2,000 people who could have been leaders, doctors, social workers, religious, activists, teachers, and parents. That’s also over 2,000 women, every day, who after an abortion, are at a greater risk for negative psychological side effects. Each one of these abortions is a tragedy.
It is sometimes difficult to understand large numbers and what their impacts really mean. Let us look at one single example, that is, the person of Christ, or of baby Jesus, and His mother, Mary. If there was no Jesus, there could be no savior, no redemption, and no Christianity. God’s plan for our salvation would be completely wrecked. And for Mary, teenage women, unmarried at the time of miraculous conception, pregnancy would not have been easy. In this way, the bravery of one woman helped lead to the salvation of the world.
In another address, Mother Teresa stated:
“By abortion, the mother does not learn to love, but kills even her own child to solve her problems. And by abortion, the father is told that he does not have to take any responsibility at all for the child he has brought into the world. That father is likely to put other women into the same trouble. So abortion just leads to more abortion. Any country that accepts abortion is not teaching the people to love, but to use any violence to get what they want. That is why the greatest destroyer of love and peace is abortion.”
With every child that is aborted, a life and its potential to impact the world is lost. Furthermore, as Mother Teresa states, with every abortion comes a reinforcement of a culture of abortion, which does not value the gift that every person has to give. Let us work for an end to abortion, and hope for the betterment of our world which will come with it.
e8304718-37cb-4c45-81c8-4cb54ae8eb99.pdf (stjoanofarcchurch.org)
Grateful for Her: Loving Mothers Through Gratitude (November ‘23)
When we think of what we are most grateful for in our lives, we probably think of our family, friends, jobs and hobbies. If we dig a little deeper, we might also realize we are grateful for living in a well-developed country, for feeling safe, and knowing where we will get our next meal, which are blessings many people do not have. But how did we get to this point in our lives? In fact, how are we alive at all? This question leads us to something deserving gratitude which is often forgotten - our mothers, and all women, who sacrifice so that we may have life, which enables us to enjoy all of other great blessings.
Life is a gift. We did not and cannot ‘earn’ being born. While the principal or origin of life it disagreed upon, it is clear that women are essential for carrying and bringing life into the world. How often do we thank our mothers for this gift? In our very first nine months (and at least the next twelve) we were completely dependent upon our mother. She provided everything we needed while we were inside of her, giving her own energy and nutrients to us so that we could grow. She didn’t even know us yet, but we were still cared for, loved, and protected by her body. Then, when it was finally time for us to enter the world, she endured possibly the most painful situation in regular human experience that gave birth to us. This seems to be a crazy kind of sacrifice, and it is surely one that is worth being grateful for every day.
The gift of life from our mother is a universal, blanket phenomenon. Not a single one of us could be here without the woman who carried us, from who’s very body we came from. Every person is alive because of their mother. And yet, when we think about our own mother, there
is so much more to be grateful for besides the life they have given us. Most often, we are, in a way, more grateful for their love. Even if we do not have a wholly positive experience with our biological mother, motherly love can be expressed and felt in many dierent ways. From our grandparents or aunts, teachers or friends, even a kind lady we meet at a grocery store, there is no end to the ways motherly kindness can lift us up. We should thus be grateful not only for our own mothers, but all those who make us feel the love a mother in our lives.
Only women can be mothers, and so often it costs them much to do it. The best way to show our gratitude and appreciation is to recognize the sacrifice they have made for us and to love them fully for it.
No Love Greater: The Impossible Strength of a Mother’s Love (October ‘23)
There is no love greater, more protective, or more pure than the love a mother has for her child. This love, created by the bond between a mother and child is powerful in its very nature, and even on a physical level, no other relationship is so completely close. The security, protection and guidance a mother gives to her child is what most essentially shapes her child’s life, and is perhaps the most important element in forming the child’s whole person.
From their conception, a mother gives so much of themselves to their child. While they are developing inside the womb, every single element the child needs for growth is directly given to them by their mother. The mother gives her very own energy, oxygen and nutrients to her baby. No greater example of a more giving relationship, consisting of the gift of the mother’s very self, can exist. In an almost miraculous and mysterious way, one body knits another. Even after the baby is born, the mother continues to give their very body to their child by their breast milk, a perfect, complete and whole food for their baby, which again they entirely produce. What the mother provides for her child, by the gift of her body in these ways is clearly an incredible act of marvelous generosity and love.
Nurturing a child, however, comes in many forms besides just the physical. A human brain grows the most within the first five years of life, and many pathways which dictate the rest of the child’s future development are laid down during this time. This initial development includes the foundations for health, behavioral patterns and learning, and so will greatly impact the rest of the child’s life. Whether the child will be naturally disposed to handle situations and challenges that come their way, or will have trauma to work through to handle these same situations well, seems to be determined in part by their early life. A mother is thus critical in this early period. Their emotional availability and guidance help to show the child they are safe and loved, and how to react well to whatever life brings. This security, love and guidance will help lay the foundations for the child’s future life and happiness. A mother’s nurturing love and support is thus paramount for the child’s emotional health and
formation.
The love of a mother is further shown by her naturally protective instincts. We’ve heard many stories of mothers lifting cars o their trapped children, and in dangerous situations, ‘mama bear’ instincts seem to be no joke. Children, including the unborn, are the most naturally vulnerable people on the planet, and, if left alone, are not able to keep themselves from harm. Children, from conception until almost adolescence, rely on their mothers as their final layer of protection. A child is not only dependent on their mother for their physical and emotional needs, but also for their protection against a world they don’t yet understand. A mother helps their child when they cannot help themselves. A mother’s love is thus also expressed through the safety in which she keeps her child.
A mother’s love for her child is a great and constant sacrifice. From giving her very own body and physical sustenance, her constant emotional energies to nurture her child, as well as being an important protection and voice for them in the outside world, her love is defined by self-giving. How can it be possible to be ungrateful to our mothers, and to all mothers, who have done so much for us,
and for the future citizens of the world?
Heroic Pregnancies: Pursuing Dreams and Continuing Pregnancy (September ‘23)
Life radically changes after having a baby. There are a thousand new joys and little moments of happiness - the baby’s first smile, first laugh and first word. Our individualistic culture however also loves to point out the hardship of looking after a helpless little human. Facebook pages, movies, and other parents warn of the long nights, the noise and mess, and lack of freedom, which, for many couples, severely dampens the joyful expectation of having children.
This is taken to such an extreme, that if a young, single woman gets pregnant, she often feels like having the baby is a choice between her dreams, and a new life. Finishing school or getting a job suddenly seem to be impossible.
Life is obviously dierent, and in many ways, more dicult, and a supportive community seems essential for any new parent in raising a child, especially any single parent. Even with this community, raising a child and pursuing a degree or a career can be challenging. There are, however, countless inspiring stories of young women demonstrating heroic virtue and continuing to follow their passions and dreams and also continue their pregnancy. It seems in every story, however, every mother is most grateful for their baby. Kristian Fitzgerald, who had her son just after her 18th birthday, states “[her son] Tavin has actually taught me, too. I never knew I could love somebody the way I love him. I thought I knew what love was before, but...I can't even explain it. My whole life revolves around him.” Although many teen mothers may wish they had their child later, they do not regret keeping their baby, and find them to be a source of strength and love. Megan Antosh, from Wayne State University, states “Young mothers are some of the strongest independent warriors that walk this earth. When we embrace this and are proud of the strength we have acquired through our challenges as teen moms, we can begin to see our own worth and recognize that we deserve success, too.”
Generally, the statistics are bleak, and odds stacked against young mothers trying to graduate college or high school. Fewer than 2% of teen mothers graduate college before the age of 30. But teen or college age mothers are never truly alone. Crisis pregnancy centers and organizations like Students for Life are dedicated to helping mothers and saving babies. These groups provide practical help such as free diapers or other necessities, or emotional support, such as counseling services. Universities
like St Francis are also taking steps to help studying mothers, providing lactation rooms and a study room on campus with free childcare.
There is a role each of us can play in supporting mothers and giving them confidence and security in carrying on with their pregnancy and keeping their baby. Volunteering at your local pregnancy center, joining groups or donating to organizations like Students for Life can help young mothers in need, helping them to pursue their aspirations and keep their baby.
Loving Our Children (August ‘23)
These are powerful laws protecting animals - do our children not deserve the same?
Animals, from pets to wildlife, are loved and protected in our society. Commercials advertising the best food for our cats and toys for our dogs constantly bombard TV channels, billboards and social media. It is undoubtable that pets bring people together, are very cute, and can benefit family life. Wild animals are also beautiful, and contribute to the richness of our natural world. Both pets and wild animals should be looked after and protected to the best of our ability. However, animals are not human persons, who, because of our greater dignity as creatures made in the image and likeness of God, deserve a greater love and protection befitting this greater dignity.
People generally love pets, and rightly so. They bring joy and liveliness in a family and can promote responsibility in children. 66% of households in America own a pet, an increase of about 18% since 1988, with $136.8 billion USD spent on pets and pet products. Pets are so beloved by families that they are often referred to as ‘fur babies’. This is interesting in light of the record low birth rates in the US. Many people feel uncertain about having children, and their ability to provide for them. People today are also waiting longer to have children, meaning they are less likely to have larger families. It seems to be a possibility that for many, a pet is a low-risk option for companionship, aection and attention.
In a similar way, our culture highly values animal rights. Animal cruelty is forbidden by law, and charities and shelters are dedicated to helping animals who have been harmed. In fact, federal law goes so far as to protect the eggs and nests of sea turtles, punishable by a year in prison or a $100,000 fine. These preventive and protective measures are good and important, as animals are living creatures, part of God’s creation, and to the extent that we are able to maintain it, their welfare is our responsibility. Let us trust our compassion. However, if the law protects unborn sea turtles, how much more so should it protect unborn children?
Human beings are created in the image and likeness of God, and we have an intelligence and dignity which is distinct and superior from animals. We can decide to put an animal down, and if done humanely, most would say this is completely morally permissible. However, ‘putting a human down’ is
murder, objectively wrong, and punishable by the fullest extent of the law. Our lives are so valuable, that is it wrong for even ourselves to take them away through suicide. So why is it that viable baby turtles are protected by law, and viable human babies are not?
Pets and animals are wonderful, but they cannot care for us when they are old. They cannot graduate, or get married, or provide the fulfillment, joy and purpose which children give to our lives. Pets cannot show compassion, or share our pain, or discuss the world with us. Pets are not human, and they cannot replace our children. Due to their humanity, children, especially the unborn, deserve even greater protection and greater love than animals. Children need this protection and this love, and in turn, one day they will protect and love us.
Let us love our children and uphold the dignity of the unborn in our laws.
Grief and Healing: Normalizing the Guilt of Abortion (July ‘23)
Regret is a natural consequence of many decisions in our lives. It can be as simple as wishing you chose chocolate ice cream instead of vanilla, or as grave as regretting the harsh last words you ever spoke (or failed to speak) to a loved one. Most often, choices are regretted soon after they are made, or at the very latest, when the consequences of a choice are known, and can reappear whenever we think back to our mistake.
Post abortion regret is very real, even acknowledged by pro-choice websites and organizations. However, this regret is not like others; which usually subsides over time. Many women feel much more regretful several years after their abortion. Sarah, from ABC News, states about guilt after her abortion, “It’s such a complex thing, it really hard to translate into words . . . it’s almost like the longer time goes by, it gets deeper and deeper.” There are countless testimonies of women from retreats for healing after abortion who for years were unable to forgive themselves and come to terms with their regret and grief. On Racheal’s Vineyard, women report emotional numbness, low-self esteem, even self-hatred, emptiness, guilt and depression. These terrible feelings require healing, and if left unchecked, can severely impact a woman and those around her.
Often, when faced with an unexpected pregnancy, especially if they are in an unstable situation, woman can feel alone, afraid, and in despair. Abortion is marketed by pro-choice agencies as nothing more than the termination of their ‘problem’. Abortion pills are advertised as ‘safe and eective’. But pregnancy is more than a problem, and abortion is more than a solution. We know this not only because of what abortion does to the baby and the mother, but because of the consequences women suer continually years after an abortion. Even though often external pressures drive women to an abortion, it is an objective act of violence, against both the unborn child, by ending their life, and the mother, by violating her womb. As with all violence, afterward comes feelings of guilt, made worse by encouragement for women to feel ‘empowered’ and ‘proud’ of their abortion, or to keep silent about it. This stifles the natural grief and regret women feel for not allowing their baby to be born, and causes them to turn inwards, often with devastating consequences.
Hope and healing are not impossible to find, even after the violence of an abortion. Many ministries, such as Project Rachal, Sira, Silent No More and Rachal’s Vineyard, serve to provide women and men with consoling and an outlet for regret and grief through healing. These ministries also serve to normalize the guilt felt after an abortion, and to remind woman that they are not alone, that there is hope for their lives, and that they are more than their past choices.
Life’s Beginnings
When a human life begins is a touchy topic for those in support of abortion. If a human life begins from the moment of conception, an abortion clearly ends this life, eectively nullifying most pro- choice arguments. If an abortion does not just ‘extract’ or ‘terminate’ a ‘clump of cells’ or ‘tissue’ but
ends, through violence, the life of an innocent human person, it is clearly morally inexcusable.
Scientifically, in accord with biological research, life begins at conception. The American College of Pediatricians states:
“human life begins at conception—fertilization. At fertilization, the human being emerges as a whole, genetically distinct, individuated zygotic living human organism, a member of the species Homo sapiens, needing only the proper environment in order to grow and develop. The dierence between
the individual in its adult stage and in its zygotic stage is one of form, not nature.”
Embryologists worldwide assert that the single fertilized cell, when the sperm and egg have combined to make it genetically unique, is alive. This single cell duplicates in a coordinated manner to carry on the development of a human being. If this embryo’s life is not a human one, then what is it?
Even this tiny single cell is a new being, a new person. Those who advocate for abortion on the basis of ‘my body, my choice’, clearly are not proficient in this basic biology - that the fetus is a genetically unique individual, and so its own unique body. By pro-choice logic, then, this baby must also be entitled to its own choice, and should not be subject to destruction by the decision of another.
Legal entities are in dispute about where to recognise the developing baby as a human person. Many try to define personhood by ‘viability’, that is, when a baby could survive on its own, outside the mother. As medical technology advances, ‘viability’ of a child gets earlier and earlier, with hospitals regularly saving babies born as early as 21-22 weeks. Other states prohibit abortion as soon as a heartbeat can be detected, which is typically 8-10 weeks into pregnancy. While these laws to protect
babies earlier are a step in the right direction, we did not become human beings when we can survive outside our mother, or when our heart begins to beat. We were a genetically unique, living individual from the moment of our conception.
When a late term-abortion takes place, it is clear to see that the baby in the womb has a survival instinct, tragically shying away from the abortionist's pliers - but, of course, it has nowhere to go. We cannot hear the silent screams of the unborn. We do not feel the pain of being pulled apart, limb from limb. The procedure of a late-term abortion, when described, sounds like the stu of nightmares, and rightly so. However, it is a nightmare that is happening every day across America. Again, if that moving, living being in a mother’s womb is not a human being, then what is it?
Human life begins at conception, and as said by Dr Seuss “a person is a person, no matter how small.” We must protect our most vulnerable members of society, and speak for and defend those who themselves. We must protect the innocent and weak. We must protect the unborn.
Artificial Intelligence: A Tool, Not a Replacement (May ‘23)
Artificial intelligence, or AI, appearing most recently and popularly in generative AI applications, such as ChatGPT has received unprecedented use and traction. Just two months after its launch, ChatGPT had 100 million active users. With the power of new technologies like artificial intelligence developing rapidly around us, it is fitting to examine the place of these technologies, the benefits, limitations, and possible dangers, and how we can use them for the good of humanity.
Most essentially, AI in an excellent tool for gathering information, but it could never act as a moral compass, or a judge of right and wrong. ChatGPT even refuses to discuss partisan politics with its users, claiming it ‘strives to remain impartial’. Thus AI can become dangerous if users look to it for answers to everything, including life’s deepest and most profound philosophical and moral questions. AI is a tool, and as a tool, it only works when it is used for what it is designed for, which is educational, fact and information based answers, not judgements on moral truths.
As humans, there is a moral law which is inherent in us. This is why, in almost every country and culture throughout time, killing another innocent human is wrong. It is against some innate principle of good in us. Artificial Intelligence, like ChatGPT, is not human, so it does not have inherent knowledge
of good and evil, and although it can be programmed to gather and repeat information, it cannot be ‘developed’ or born with this moral law. Similarly, it cannot apply previous knowledge or experience to a unique situation to give relevant advice on what is right or wrong for us personally, as a good friend can. This is one reason why relying heavily on AI for emotional support is not a sustainable solution. AI cannot be a replacement for friendship, parental advice, or professional therapy, as it does not have emotions, so cannot be in tune with the complex emotional support we made need. Furthermore, we need much more in our lives than words, and AI cannot make us a meal, look after us when we are sick or hold us accountable for positive changes in our lives. Even if AI could do all of these things, it would not do it with the human love which we so desire, and that these helpful actions would be a proof of.
The scope and power of AI to answer questions about history, literature, mathematics and science is incredible, and is a powerful and interesting tool. However, it is no replacement for our morality, religious beliefs, and fellow humans, especially our close friends and mentors, who can provide us with personal advice and moral and philosophical truths. Morals, truth and religion are above us humans themselves - we cannot change whether it is right or wrong to kill someone. Thus, AI, which is programmed and has its information input by humans, cannot change truth or morality or act as their replacements.
Choices and Consequences (April ‘23)
All choices have consequences. If we choose to eat ice cream instead of exercising, or take a nap instead of cleaning the house, these seem to be generally bad choices that we will regret later, however the consequences are not impossible, or even very di cult, to recover from.
Many choices, however, are life-altering, and have consequences which can change the course of our future. These decisions, such as which religion or moral code to follow, who to marry, and what career to choose are choices which will most likely shape our lives and characters. The consequences we su er from life-altering unwise choices can have lasting negative impacts on our lives, which can be very di cult to recover from. This is true of divorce, which often requires extensive emotional healing for those involved. With particularly wrong choices in our lives, the regret we experience as a consequence of that choice can sometimes last a lifetime.
Often, this kind of regret comes from a missed opportunity. The opportunity to reconnect with a friend or heal a relationship with a loved one, to apologize, to forgive, to say yes to a first date, are all opportunities for love, which universally leads to a fulfilling and happy life. Pregnancy is a similar opportunity - the opportunity to welcome, support and love an innocent human life. Even if one does not have the resources to support a child, carrying a pregnancy to its term is a great act of love for this new life.
Abortion ends a human life. Ending a life is a major, life-altering decision, and for many women, it has lasting consequences. Dr Priscilla Coleman, professor of human development and family studies, states “There are in fact some real risks associated with abortion that should be shared with women.” These risks include depression, anxiety, alcohol abuse and a score of other mental traumas, not to mention the physical risks that come with abortion.
Abortion is thus not only harmful to the unborn child, but harmful to the woman involved, who is more likely to su er emotionally in association with an abortion.
So often women are pressured into ending the life of their baby because of fears of lack or support or a loss of educational opportunity. However, there are countless stories of women making the brave decision to continue their pregnancy and also their education or career. This is not impossible, and the choice between keeping a child’s life and continuing in your dreams and life goals is not always an either/or decision. The pro-life movement wishes to ensure that no woman is alone, or without help.
Pregnancy is an opportunity to love. And in true love, there are no regrets.
The Pursuit of Happiness (March ‘23)
Living isn’t always easy. The human experience is marked with pain, discomfort, disappointment and all kinds of su ering. It is an enigma - as society progresses, so does our development in modern medicine, technology and science, but the problem of evil remains unsolved. Man can send a man to the moon, but he cannot yet make himself happy.
Moments of despair come in every life. While experiencing extreme su ering, or sometimes even the drudgery of day to day life, one is tempted to think that it would be better if we could leave it all behind. Simply cease to be.
“All men seek happiness. This is without exception.” Thus says the philosopher Blaise Pascal, and it is a truth confirmed daily by our own experience. But how do we attain happiness? This is the question most important in the life of every person, so much so that our right to the pursuit of happiness is protected by the founding document of this country.
If we have the disposition to see them, the moments of joy in our lives can be countless. The satisfaction of smiling at a stranger, of giving gifts to loved ones, of a beautiful drive or a perfect cup of co ee are ours for the taking, or more accurately, the making. It is possible to create these moments of happiness, and so then a life of happiness, if we are willing to open ourselves to the beauty of the everyday.
No life is easy, and some lives are particularly challenging. However, the greatest and most noble lives are fraught with su ering and obstacles. Challenges in our lives can take us lower, or bring us higher than we could ever be otherwise, increasing in us compassion, strength and courage. We can let life lower us to nothing, or we can allow us to become what we were made to be.
Life is filled with struggles, and we will continue to have struggles until our life is completed . Though isn’t it better to struggle, than to not be given a chance at all? An abortion takes a human life. It steals
a chance for the pursuit of happiness. Some argue that abortion is necessary for preventing miserable lives, but the truth is when you take away a life, you don’t take away misery, only an opportunity; a pursuit. And this is something every person, based on the principles of freedom, deserves.
A Grown-Up Birthday (February ‘23)
Throughout the year, we celebrate many holidays such as President’s Day, Memorial Day, Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter, as well as many other religious feast days. On a more personal note, our own birthday, or that of a loved one, are similar highlights on our calendar. As children, birthdays are celebrated with great joy, much to the excitement of the child, however this changes slightly once one reaches adulthood.
What is the purpose of a birthday in an adult life? And why does this change from a pure, joyful, celebration? There is no better day to reflect on the gift of our own lives, on both the joy that we find in them and the joy which they bring others.
So often, our life goes by without reconciling broken relationships, leaving us with regrets and lasting guilt about the mistakes we made, and resentment when we ourselves were hurt. Is it wise to go about our lives carrying these burdens? Think how much better our lives could be if there was a day dedicated to remedying our mistakes and healing our wounds, appreciating our past while paving the way for a fulfilled and regret-free future. In a similar way, a birthday is a great opportunity to make peace with ourselves. Forgiving ourselves for past mistakes is essential for internal tranquility, and serious self assessment producing practical resolutions imperative for character growth.
Each of us are endowed with incredible potential, to achieve more than life’s bare necessities: to flourish, create, and love. A birthday could be an opportunity to check in with our relationships, and make sure we surround ourselves with people who further our experience of a good life. Furthermore, how could we better set ourselves up for success? Are we looking after our own needs, or abusing the luxuries which are so available to us in this modern age? Let us avoid harm and promote good in how we relate to others and ourselves, and introduce new small habits to change our minds and bodies for the better.
Knowledge and belief in our own self-worth can be a lifelong struggle. Even when we are striving to lead a good life, and do good to others, an attitude of intolerance in our society can call into question our positive choices. These conflicts, often brought about by envy and jealousy, or those struggling with their own discontent, can distort and destroy our self belief. Why not use our special day as a shield and address those to attempt to degrade us? Standing by our own beliefs, values, and positive choices will give us confidence and possibly even benefit those who belittle us.
Life is precious, and every year, a birthday reminds us of its miracle and worth. At times, our own lives are mysteries, tested in time, whose ultimate purpose may remain obscure until their completion. Let this yearly reminder of life’s joy not only be exclusive to children, but used by adults as an opportunity to assess and appreciate the miraculous mystery of our own life.
Happy birthday!